12 Psychology Tricks to Attract Someone You Like

Let's say you have a crush on someone. You’ve liked them for a while, but you're having trouble getting
them to notice you. You're worried they don’t see you as a potential partner or don’t find you attractive. This is a tricky situation that many people struggle with every day. It's hard to get people to notice you, especially when you have strong feelings for them. Your heart flutters when they walk into a room. Maybe you’ve thought about asking them out, but you’ve always been too nervous or awkward to make the first move. If any of this sounds familiar, you may be wondering: what should you do first? How do you get the attention of someone you like and potentially turn your crush into something more?

First, we need to clarify what you're trying to do. When you like someone, you may dream of sweeping them off their feet. You may want them to fall madly in love with you, but even the most advanced techniques won’t make your crush stop acting like themselves. But that’s a good thing. You like this person for who they are, so there’s no need for tricks that compromise their judgment or manipulate them into doing something they don’t want to do. In other words, the best way to attract your crush is to appeal to their unique tastes and interests.

In this article, we’re going to cover twelve ways to show your crush that you are the kind of person they find attractive. Each trick comes from a niche discovery in psychology that demonstrates what people find attractive at a deep, unconscious level. Some of these tricks will show off your most attractive qualities to gain the attention of your crush. Others will help you build real romantic chemistry with the person you like. If you use these tricks in the right way, your crush may suddenly find you more attractive than ever. Not every one of them will work 100% of the time. But if you’re confident in yourself, these simple psychological tricks can help you find a real spark with the person you like most.

1.  The Chameleon Effect

According to a 1999 study, we are unconsciously attracted to people who subtly mimic our behavior, a phenomenon known as the “chameleon effect.” If you want someone to like you, you might smile when they smile or change your posture to match theirs. These simple adjustments create a feeling of connection and commonality, which can stimulate real romantic interest. It’s important, however, that you’re not too obvious. If someone realizes you’re copying them, they might feel insecure or uncomfortable. But if you mirror their behavior in subtle ways, the people you like will be naturally drawn to you.

2.  The Power of Posture

Studies show that how you sit and stand significantly influences your attractiveness. For example, crossing your arms or hunching forward makes you seem smaller and less confident. People may perceive you as less attractive, but a few changes can show people a more open and secure side of you. The trick is to take up space. When you stand, widen your feet and stand up tall. If you’re sitting, stretch out your legs and lean back on your hands. This body language makes you look confident and assertive while attracting more attention from the person you like.

3.   Say Their Name   

We are psychologically conditioned to react to the sound of our names. After all, it’s the one word representing who we are as individuals. Our names have a certain power over us. So, every once in a while, use your crush’s name casually in conversation. If the timing is right, the sound of their name will give them butterflies and make their heart flutter. Even if they have never noticed you, the sound of their name may open their eyes to a whole new side of you.

4.   Exclusive Knowledge   

If you want to seem more attractive to the person you like, find ways to distinguish your connection from any other relationship they may have. In other words, create a special, exclusive world belonging only to the two of you. As you two fall deeper into this special world, your crush will become attracted to you on a deeper level. Other people might try to get their attention, but they only feel a truly deep and meaningful connection with you. There are several ways to make your dynamic feel unique or exclusive. Things like inside jokes give you something to talk about that no one else understands. You might also tell them little secrets, creating a lasting sense of trust and vulnerability between you. Any kind of shared knowledge, whether funny or serious, may show the person you like how attractive you can be.

5.  Sustained Eye Contact

If you want someone to notice you, look into their eyes a little longer than you normally would. Just when you think about pulling away, allow your gaze to linger a moment more. Gaze deep into their eyes as if you’re staring into their soul. Then, after a few beats, look away and move on with the conversation as if nothing happened. As simple as it sounds, this fleeting yet powerful gesture will make almost anyone’s heart flutter.

6.  Let Them Talk   

People like to talk about themselves. This is something psychologists have proven time and time again. But did you know that we’re also drawn to people who listen to and appreciate our stories? In other words, we like people who encourage us to share things about ourselves. If you want to make a good impression on someone you like, ask plenty of questions and really listen to what they’re saying. Don’t encourage them to talk only to tune them out. Passive listening is never going to win their affection. If you stay active and engaged in the conversation, your listening skills can make you irresistible.

7.  The Ben Franklin Effect    

Sometimes, winning someone over is as easy as asking for a small favor. According to the Benjamin Franklin Effect, we develop a more favorable opinion of someone when we do favors for them. Why? Because we usually do favors for the people we like. If someone asks us for help, and we decide to help them, our brain automatically thinks of them in a more positive light. This trick only works if you keep your favors small and manageable. If you ask someone to lend you $100, that’s not going to score you any points. On the other hand, if you need someone to take a picture of you or give you directions, a few tiny favors can make you more attractive than you think.

8.   Contagious Positivity     

Positivity is widely considered one of the most attractive traits. Happy and positive people are not only fun to be around, but their positivity is contagious. When they’re happy, other people feel happy; that alone makes them attractive to almost everyone they meet. If you want the person you like to notice you, be a source of positivity in their life. Resist the urge to complain or spread negativity. Instead, find ways to bring happiness into their life. If someone feels happier every time you’re around, they’ll keep coming back again and again.

9.  Create Natural Touches

It’s hard to make the first physical move when you have strong feelings for someone you know. You don’t want to make things awkward or uncomfortable, but you don’t want to wait too long to express your physical interest. So what psychological tricks can you use to smoothly and naturally break what’s known as “the touch barrier?” The touch barrier may feel like a difficult hurdle to overcome, but a simple psychological trick can help you cross this boundary without making things awkward. The trick is to find activities that create opportunities for physical contact. Ice skating is a popular example. When you’re ice skating, you or the person you like may lose their balance, and when you do, it’s natural to reach out and touch the person next to you. These physical gestures are brief and harmless, but they symbolize an important step forward in your relationship.

10.   Calculated Distance  

You’ve probably heard that playing hard to get makes you more attractive, but if you’re too distant or aloof, you’re more likely to push people away. Instead of constantly pulling away, try to alternate your availability. At first, it’s okay to be available all the time. You might stay in contact for a few days and be flexible about whatever your crush wants. But the next time you talk, you might be a little busier, making them work a little harder to get in touch with you. It’s important not to play around too much with their feelings, but a bit of hot and cold behavior can make your crush more invested in you.

11.  Similarity-Attraction Effect

We are psychologically predisposed to like people that are similar to us. If two people visit the same places or enjoy the same hobbies, they’re more likely to see each other in a positive way. In psychology, this is known as the similarity-attraction effect. It’s great for making friends or professional connections, but it’s also a useful technique for increasing romantic attraction. When you’re around the people you like, go out of your way to highlight things you share. The more things you have in common, the more interested they’ll be.

12.   Show Don’t Tell  

Anyone can say how much they care, but only a few show their feelings with real, concrete gestures. If you like someone and want them to like you back, be the kind of person who shows how much you care. You don’t need to spend hundreds of dollars or prove your love with overwhelming gestures, but you should actively invest in the person you like. When someone sees proof of how much you care, they may realize how attracted to you they really are.