Emotional Intelligence Skills Only Deep People Have

Deep people are intriguing. They seek meaningful conversations that empower and challenge, while others are content discussing the weather or celebrity gossip. Emotional intelligence, also known as EQ, is common among deep people and is extremely desirable, both in professional and social settings. The qualities that make a great leader are some of the same characteristics of emotionally intelligent people. They have a quiet magnetism about them. But can these traits be developed, or are they just there? While certain emotional intelligence skills may come naturally to some, the good news is that they can be developed over time with practice. Keep reading to discover six emotional intelligence skills that separate deep people from the rest.

  

 Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to go beyond recognizing and understanding your own emotions to understand how your actions, moods, and behaviors affect other people. So, how does one become self-aware? You need to be able to monitor and identify your own emotions and recognize the reactions of others. Then, go even further to see the connections between your feelings and behaviors. Self-aware individuals can also recognize their own strengths and limitations, and use them to their benefit. They’re open-minded, seeking out new information and experiences, and they learn something new from each social interaction. They tend to be confident and have a great sense of humor. They’re also keenly aware of how they’re perceived by others.

 

 Self-Regulation

Deep people are able to control their emotions. Unlike self-awareness, self-regulation is more externally focused. It’s the ability to understand and manage your behavior and reactions to what’s happening around you. It involves controlling how you react to strong emotions such as frustration, excitement, anger, or embarrassment. This doesn’t mean ignoring or hiding your reactions. It’s more about keeping your cool even in the toughest situations and responding appropriately when the timing is right. That guy at the coffee shop who blew up at the barista for messing up his order? He clearly can’t express his annoyance properly. Otherwise, he would’ve just gone with the flow and calmly asked for a replacement. Those who can self-regulate are flexible and adaptable, and they are good at managing conflicts and tense situations. These traits and skills make them great leaders. They are highly conscientious and considerate of how their actions influence others. Like self-awareness, self-regulation is something that can be developed over time. In fact, the two are fundamentally intertwined, kind of like a package deal.

 

Social Skills

Another important emotional intelligence skill is being able to interact well with others by building meaningful relationships through a strong understanding of yourself and other people. This includes active listening, verbal and nonverbal communication, and persuasiveness. These traits are often accompanied by great leadership skills. If you’ve been fortunate enough to have had a boss with great social skills, you know that they’re great at building connections and inspiring you to do the same.

 

Relationship Management

They say you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with, and emotionally intelligent individuals select those they surround themselves with wisely. Have you ever been around someone with a negative attitude and felt completely drained afterward? The opposite is also true. Spending time with those who are fun and positive leaves you feeling energized and fulfilled. Doing so can lead to improved mood, productivity, and well-being. Those who appreciate the value of relationships can more easily seek out others who are uplifting. In addition to being in touch with their own feelings, deep people are acutely aware of how others make them feel. Bad vibes just aren’t worth their time.

 

 Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share in the feelings of others, and it’s one of the most important emotional intelligence skills. Those who are deep and empathetic can put themselves in another person’s shoes and really feel what that person is experiencing. They can then respond appropriately. If someone is feeling down, an empathetic person feels it in their core and does what they can to make that person feel better. With empathy comes the ability to sense the power dynamics that drive social relationships. This is particularly useful in workplace settings because it guides how you interact with various people. Individuals competent in this area are able to relate easily with others at all levels, in business and life, because they understand how these forces influence feelings and behavior and can navigate social situations accordingly.

 
 Intrinsic Motivation

Emotionally intelligent people are intrinsically motivated. Driven by a passion for their personal needs and goals, they do things because they’re enjoyable and interesting. As opposed to those who are extrinsically motivated and do things for rewards or to avoid punishment, intrinsically motivated individuals find satisfaction in internal rewards such as self-improvement and being personally challenged. Sure, money, fame, recognition, and acclaim are all nice to have, but if that’s what motivates you, what happens when those things are gone? There’s a difference between playing a sport because you enjoy it, versus playing only to win. The same is true for spending time with someone because you genuinely enjoy their company, not because of their social standing. You might learn a new language out of a thirst for knowledge rather than to meet a job requirement. This inner drive makes these people action-oriented, committed, and good at taking initiative. They are constantly striving to achieve new goals and to find better ways of doing things.

Emotional intelligence is powerful, but it has its downfalls. Some research has shown that heightened emotional awareness can sometimes make it difficult for people to deliver negative feedback because they’re hypersensitive to how the other person might feel. And while emotional intelligence is generally thought of as positive, it can also be used to maliciously influence others. Don’t be that person. Use your powers for good, not evil.

Whether these emotional intelligence skills come naturally to you, or you put in the time and effort to refine them, you’ll find that they’re invaluable in your life and relationships. What do you think? Were you able to relate to any of these? Which ones do you need to work on? Let us know in the comments below.